Rules for debating

Everyone, or at least most people, have watched at least part of a political debate on television. Most of the time, what you see and hear isn't really a debate at all. While they start off with calm, rational responses, they usually end up as heated arguments. Even worse, they devolve into a shouting match with everyone trying to talk over each other and the audience never really hears what's being said. If the people listening can hear what the speaker is saying, the person who was asked a question may even ignore the question and, instead, talks about what they want to be the topic. When that happens, the person isn't participating in a debate, they're using their time to give a campaign speech.

Whether it's a political debate or an online discussion, the rules of debating, if followed, can lead to a better understanding between two or more people even if they never agree with each other's opinions or beliefs. Here are a few rules and tips for keeping a debate or discussion from becoming an argument:
- Prevent misunderstandings by defining the words and explaining phrases you use if they aren't commonly used or can have various meanings.
- Listen carefully to what's being said or carefully read what's written.
- Don't insult the other person. As far as most people are concerned, if you resort to insults, they're going to stop listening to anything you have to say.
- Remain calm and don't let your emotions get the upper hand. Don't read one line and post or shout a response. The explanation or clarification may be coming.
- Treat the other person the way you want to be treated.
- Stop thinking you have to win. By this I mean you have to change the other person's mind. That's not always going to happen.

Here are the times when and situations in which you should define words,explain phrases, and/or supply other information:
- Words used in one country or part of a country may mean one thing and something totally different in another.
- The use of slang words and phrases can also lead to confusion. Either use standardized wording or explain what the slang means.
- Stating that something is a proven fact without providing the statistics, science, or other information along with source links or references makes the statement only an opinion.
- Designate within the text or tell the other person when what you say is based on your experience (only if it really is) or when it's only your opinion.

If or when someone asks you to provide sources for the statistics or scientific facts you give, don't become angry. There are people who want to see it in black and white and just won't accept what you say as the truth unless the can see it for themselves. Also, don't refuse to check out the sources they provide. By reading through their sources, you may learn that you were partially or entirely wrong. Along those same lines, if someone asks you for a further explanation or a question about the topic for something you didn't cover and you don't know the answer, tell them you don't know. Not everyone knows everything and that's nothing to be ashamed of.

I have to go back to the point of not insulting other people who don't agree with you. Insulting people and/or calling them names will only make them stop listening to anything you have to say. This is especially true, for example, when you don't know an answer to a question so reply with something like "if you weren't so stupid you'd understand". Also, it seems it's becoming more common for people on one side of the debate to attach labels to the people on the other side of the debate. By calling someone a racist, homophobic, or the like, they're hoping the person being labeled will just shut up. Unfortunately, some people will stop discussing important issues because they don't want these labels applied to them.

One last thing, if you're easily offended by anything that might be said about a topic being discussed, you should probably choose not to get involved in that debate. The only time the people involved in a debate or discussion should stop in the presence of the offended person is if that person can't walk away. For an example, if you and a coworker are debating in the office and another coworker must remain at their desk in order in do their work, the discussion should be put on hold until the offended coworker leaves or you can have the discussion somewhere else. Otherwise, the person being offended can click off the forum thread, change channels on the television, or turn off the radio.

Have you ever heard the saying about agreeing with each other? Sometimes we'll just have to agree to disagree. I'll add that we should all do that in a friendly way after we've had our debate using the basic rules of debating.